So today has been really interesting and at writing this I realize its been a minute since Ive updated. Sorry about that. I have been torn in different directions and doing a lot of YouTube videos when I should be writing more here.
So over the last week or so I have really been trying to clean up my house and make it look less like a bomb went off and more like a "bachelor pad." In summer of 2016 I took a trip to California, and was gone for about 3 weeks. During that time my sister and niece redid my bedroom, and cleaned my kitchen and a few other areas of my house.
It was a total shock to me to see that they had done it. So they laid out the foundation for what I had been trying to do for the longest time.
So today when I got up, I began my cleaning. And I turned on music and began to kind of zone out. Then out of the blue ALL THE EMOTIONS hit me. I was like "seriously are you fucking with me right now?"
I spent 30mins maybe more just crying. Not any reason that I could really think of other than stirring up negative energies from cleaning my house. I know it sounds weird, but I am a believer that energies and things like that can hold onto items and when you disturb it, it takes to the air like dust.
Then to top it off, I came across a notebook that had suicide letters in them from a few years ago. I wrote letters to each of the people who I thought were going to miss me the most at the time. I did it just to get shit off my chest, but incase things got really bad it was a system I had in place as my final parting words.
So yeah to say its been an emotional day, is to discredit the shit storm it really was. I feel better right now But am planning on doing a video here in a little bit which may rip the scab off and cause me to start crying again, but I know tht there are those of you who prefer the blog verses the video format but I just want to get it out in both areas so that regardless if you read about it or watch it, hopefully it can and will help someone.
So over the last week or so I have really been trying to clean up my house and make it look less like a bomb went off and more like a "bachelor pad." In summer of 2016 I took a trip to California, and was gone for about 3 weeks. During that time my sister and niece redid my bedroom, and cleaned my kitchen and a few other areas of my house.
It was a total shock to me to see that they had done it. So they laid out the foundation for what I had been trying to do for the longest time.
So today when I got up, I began my cleaning. And I turned on music and began to kind of zone out. Then out of the blue ALL THE EMOTIONS hit me. I was like "seriously are you fucking with me right now?"
I spent 30mins maybe more just crying. Not any reason that I could really think of other than stirring up negative energies from cleaning my house. I know it sounds weird, but I am a believer that energies and things like that can hold onto items and when you disturb it, it takes to the air like dust.
Then to top it off, I came across a notebook that had suicide letters in them from a few years ago. I wrote letters to each of the people who I thought were going to miss me the most at the time. I did it just to get shit off my chest, but incase things got really bad it was a system I had in place as my final parting words.
So yeah to say its been an emotional day, is to discredit the shit storm it really was. I feel better right now But am planning on doing a video here in a little bit which may rip the scab off and cause me to start crying again, but I know tht there are those of you who prefer the blog verses the video format but I just want to get it out in both areas so that regardless if you read about it or watch it, hopefully it can and will help someone.