One week and Counting

 

Well its only a week until I begin my state testing. I have butterflies the size of Mothra flying around in my stomach thinking about it.
My biggest anxiety is just completing the test and doing well on it. The other aspect is the "what if" side of it. What is going to happen after I pass the test? Am I going to try to start working as a Peer Counselor? What if I fail the test? Am I going to try and retake it.

There is so much going on in my mind right now I honestly dont know where to start, what to focus on, and what to do with the rest of it.

I have a camping trip coming up this weekend where I am supposed to go out with some friends and embark on their "Mothers Day Girls Only Trip" which should be fun and interesting as I am not a mother nor a girl. But I was invited so at the very least it should be entertaining if I can force myself to get out there and actually just do it. Last time I was invited to go to a camp out I had everything packed and ready to go and just couldnt bring myself to actually go. I also dont know if I want to go for a weekend trip when monday morning my testing starts. It seems like I should spend the weekend just relaxing and prepping myself. 

The rational sane side of my brain is telling me that I am being stupid and that I am making mountains out of mole hills. And I know that im way over thinking things. Im not really "vested" in this whole thing. I took a bunch of classes to better understand mental health and what have you and had fun getting the certificates and diplomas that I did get. And it is useful knowledge to have, considering that depression and things like that are at an all time high and seem to only be getting worse as time goes on.

I am feeling better just putting these feelings into words right now. I think it is just a form of therapy in itself to just journal these things. I mean after all this is the main principle and foundation of this blog and why I originally started it.