The election, depression, hope and more

First, I must start this post to let you know that it is going to be a bit of a rant, as well as something that I like to try and stay away from, politics. With the latest election, the country is divided even further. And with the change of the regime, we have the Sword of Damocles hanging over a majority of the nation. Along with the changes coming to the White House, we also have the looming Project 2025 that could in my opinion which is shared by many, revert the country back to how it was prior to the 1960's where segregation, women's rights, and many other civil liberties could be stripped away from those within certain demographics. 

It is a very scary idea that someone's religious views can cause all of these things to come to light, when the very country itself was founded on the idea of religious freedoms. Yet since the founding of the United States we have had anything but that. Time and time again it has been a wave of Christianity washing over the entire country from Plymouth Rock in 1620 to the golden coasts of California. The destruction of Indigenous people and their cultures, and so much more. 

With the revocation of Roe v Wade more than just women's reproductive rights have been affected. The LGBTQIA+ Community may lose the very rights that have been fought for with countless lives being lost, either by diseases, violence, or self-harm. Gay marriages can be dissolved. Gender affirming treatments are on the chopping block as well. I fear that this is a very very slippery slope for everyone, including those who blindly voted for this to take place. I fear the narrow sightedness of said votes may be what spearheads the next Civil War within this country. 

That aside, my depression has been coming and going in waves. Some days are better than others, and during those really horrible days, all I can do is cry and listen to the voices that say I should unalive myself. In a lot of my videos and podcast's I refer to it as "The Self-Checkout line." Because you can't use certain words without getting your post banned or flagged. 
And I know there are things that are outside of my control, however, that is not how mental health works. You can have a full understanding of all the right and wrong and everything in between and still your brain tells you that you should hurt yourself or get into the self-checkout line.

If you have been following along with the Podcast, or the YouTube channel you will see that I have taken steps to "fix" certain aspects of my mental health and the wanting to cause myself self-harm. I've never delt with the idea of self-harm but just recently that became something "new" for me. I began doing Cold Plunges and strangely I found that by doing so it has "scratched" that itch. So, for now, it's a good thing. I'm able to "hurt" myself but in a very healthy and productive way. I have talked with my doctor and told him what I was doing, the reason behind it, and how it was helping and he "signed off" on me continuing to do so.

Moving away from the "heavy" stuff and getting into lighter things. I have been focusing a lot of my energy into playing my Nintendo Switch, I finally was able to get a game that I have been wanting that takes place in the Harry Potter Universe called Hogwarts Legacy. As of right now I have about 60hrs into the game. It has been a really nice distraction. 

As for the book....well the book has caused me more stress and anguish then I had ever thought was possible. I've finally gotten a copy of the book from the editor that I was able to get uploaded to Amazon, and have ordered my Author/Proof copy which should be here Tuesday November19 2024. After which time I'll have the ability to look at and hold a physical copy of my book and give the go ahead to publish it and make it go live. 

I had to send my editor an email today letting him know that the eBook isn't coming out properly when i look at it on the previewer that Amazon offers and that I still have yet to try to upload it to Barns and Noble, Kobo, Apple Books, and Google Books. I'm hoping to be able to cast a wide enough net to make it available to a wide range of people across the world. However, I know that it is going to be nice just to get it sold locally, and a dream come true to go to a thrift store in Brooklyn and see it sitting there.

With the holidays quickly approaching, I am really worried about what is to come with those as well. All my finances are wrapped up in trying to get this book out, with my vision being very narrow and only looking at most 30-60 days ahead.  But I always seem to manage at one point or another when it comes to the holidays. After the first of the year, Im going to try to do some traveling. With what finances that has yet to be determined. But I need to get out to California, and I want to go spend a week or so with my aunt in Indiana and try to get out to Las Vegas to see my friend and meet her beautiful daughter and see her family too. 

So this is everything up to this point in my life at the moment.