Making Christmas Work

Well it is December 23, and as per usual I have $0.00 in the ol bank account. I have been able to get a few things for my friends and family. Albeit mostly good to excellent second hand items, I have a something for everyone this holiday season, with a gift or two in reserve just incase.

It seems like no matter how much I scrimp and save all year long that I will always be broke or extremely strapped for cash come Thanksgiving. I was able to do some Black Friday shopping this year and got a few things for people. But it seems like there is less and less budget friendly items and more big ticket items. Mind you, getting a 42' flat screen 4k UHD TV for $129 for some is a budget friendly item, but for those like yours truly, not so much. And really how many TV's can one have (As I say that I just realized that I have 4 flat screen tv's and 2 "old school" tv's and 3 of those TV's are sitting in my living room….god I'm a hoarder :( )

But I have a firm belief that you should have something to open on Christmas Morning. Even if you don't celebrate Christmas and observe some Winter Holiday that you should have something. Even if it is just a candy bar wrapped up with a bow. I've never understood IOU Christmas's. Thankfully, growing up, even though we had very little to no money most times, we never went without. It might not be new and shiny but it was still new to us.
I always get kinda self conscious whenever I am not able to do store bought items. Its like "here I found this in the trash, polished it, and thought that you might want it." And honestly it makes me not even want to do gift exchanges most times because my depression, and anxiety always flair up and I end up apologizing a lot after everything is said and done. Especially if others have spent a large amount of money on me. It makes me feel like shit. But I graciously accept the gift, put on a brave face, do the whole Merry Christmas thing, go home, and cry myself to sleep most times.

This post wasn't support to get that dark and weepy lol Im sorry. Just kinda happened. But there is only a few more days until its all over and done with and we reset the clock. And regardless of your personal holiday traditions or observances I will leave you with a very simple Happy Holiday's from me to you.

Hopefully the tears that were shed in 2019 will water the seeds sown for 2020.