The messages the universe has been giving me - and my first DID post

 And so, as it typically goes, my last few months have been poopy, as I turned 44yrs old and for whatever reason I always have some depression during my birthday and a few days to a week afterwards.
So, this year was no different except that in the early part of March, someone approached me as a new friend/potential relationship. 
I am not pursued very often, and so when it does, it activates one of my other personalities named JD. Alex, who is the protector of the system, kept Main Me away from this new person, saying "you need to see this person in all seasons". The term "seeing someone in all seasons" means that you need to let them show you who they really are, because if someone is acting one way, they can very easily act another. So, when talking with The System (the other personalities) we discussed that while it was nice to be sought after, it was in fact something that needed to be done so at arm's length. However, JD didn't like that idea and wanted to rush headfirst into this possible new relationship. So it was a constant battle between JD, Alex, and Main Me. 

All of that going on while my biological mother passed just 4 days after my birthday. I never knew how I was going to process her passing, and so far, it's been in very small chunks. My therapist and I have been working through this. Needless to say, I have been dealing with mild depression and sleeping alot. Even though I just woke up about 20 minutes ago, I'm barely awake now and keep falling asleep typing. But time has been moving both fast and slow for me, which is a symptom of DID that we experience time differently. So at the time of writing this it is May 2, 2025, and it feels like it should still be February.

So with there being a lot of changes in my life and in the world in general, there have been some glaring messages from the universe, my higher power, whatever you want to call it. I always tell people the answers that you are lookig for will not appear on a giant billboard on the side of the road declaring "THIS IS THE ANSWER YOU ARE LOOKING FOR" instead it will come to you in a song lyric, or a conversation you overhear, or a line from a tv show, etc.
My answers have been coming from social media, and the anime that I have been watching. In the last 48hrs I have healed and grown more than the time leading up to it. It is very strange to me how things just kind of fall into place and having that "ah-ha" moment.

But I have been so disconnected from everything in my life as of late, and I think its time to plug back in.