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Wednesday, October 27, 2021

The Screaming Forest

 The Screaming Forest by Michael Peterson


In a land enveloped by darkness stands a forest that the people of the land stay far from. They say it was cursed by dark magics long ago. An army of twelve thousand soldiers, were commanded by King Rhinehart to invade the neighboring kingdom of Drask. The Draskan people heard of this invasion that was to come from Rhienhurst and sent their army of twelve thousand warriors to the defense. In the middle of this would be battlefield lived a man who was learned in the old ways, and his family. He longed for his solace and the happiness therein. He did not take kind to those who would happen upon him and his little family, especially those who would trespass and try to take from him. 


He would use his skills to help any who requested it of him, but at the end of the day, just wanted his little world to be undisturbed. His wife Lynn and his daughter Nasea, carved out a meager living. Lynn spoke to the earth and to the plants that grew, Ven to the Elements and spirits, and Nasea to animals. 

The great warring horns sounded from the North and From the West. The faint cries of blood thirsty men and the thundering of their running and their beasts filled the air like a violent storm.

Ven knew what was to come and wanted no part of this impending battle that was to take place in his valley. Both warring parties were soon in sight. The air thick with rage and blood lust. The commanders of both armies came forth to begin their campaigning and boastering of whose might was stronger, and whose cause more just. 


In their screaming match, it was as if Ven and his family did not exist. Ven shouted "I care not who you are. Nor why you would spill each other's blood. But you shall not do it here on my ground. I have lived here in peace, with my family, for longer than I have memory for. This land was worked by my father, and his father, all the way back for as long as time, it seems. You trespass, and may not make your war here, where my family and my home are kept." Ven declared.


The commander from Rhiehurst was a presence that commanded acknowledgement by lesser people, moved closer. A barbaric looking man, in bloodstained armor, sat on the back of a pure black horse. "I am King Rhinehart's General Franstrom the Black. No man stands before my lord's wishes. You are commanded to stand aside or you shall taste my blades wrath." Franstrom boasted. 

Another voice shouted back "I am Camore of Drask, my lord has commanded my blade to defend his land, and the Draskan people. You invade without provocation and this is where you shall be turned from your task." Camore said. 

"Did you not hear me? My voice I know, is not silent" Ven shouted at them both, this time with a loud booming thunder behind it that shook the very ground they stood upon. 

They gave him notice. "Stand aside you fool, you see the army I command, you will be nothing more than the mud beneath our boots." Franstrom spit. Lynn stepped around from the side of Ven, "Sir, you know not what you presume, the mud is mine to command, and this is our land! You, and all those who have rallied here today, are the ones that need to step aside." Lynn's hand began to glow a bright green color and with a gesture of her long fingers the land went soft and became mud. Nasea clung to her mothers dress peeking from behind her. "Witch how dare you" Franstrom shouted and threw a dagger that struck Lynn in the chest. The light from her hand, and eyes faded. 

Nasea let out a scream that caused all the animals on the battlefield to faint. Ven looked on in horror as his wife fell to the ground. He rushed to her side, pleading for her not to leave him. Growling under his breath. Nasea went silent. Camore held her by the hair and ran his blade across her tiny throat. 


Instantly a low thundering sound filled the air. Ven covered in the blood of his wife, watched as the now lifeless body of his daughter was thrown into the mud and her blood wiped from Camore's dagger. Ven let out a howling scream that caused Camore's body to explode. Visera splattered the men behind him. 

He turned his gaze upon the Drask army. Blood red lighting filled the skies above. Franstrom called for his army to attack. An arrow shot past Ven's face inches from his eye grazing his cheek. Ven let out a sound like a million lions roaring all at once. The spirits that he knew answered his call. 

They came forth from the ether and began violently ripping apart the army of Rhinehurst. Franstrom charged Ven and drew his sword. "You and what's left of your men shall stand vigil over what you've done here this day." Ven waved his hand and lightning melted Franstrom's sword. 

His legs froze in place. Panic struck his heart for the first time. A loud cracking settling sound could be heard from all around him as his men began to petrify and become gnarled twisted trees. Their horrified screams silenced. Franstrom began hitting at his slowly petrifying legs. 


The Draskan army turn to flee at the sights and sounds of what was happening to the Rhinehurst army. The blood red lightning struck the ground all around them, as if it were a cage. "Where is it that you would go that my power would not find? Stand your grounds oh brave soldiers! You followed these orders, and your commander laid waste to my life. And so from you, I take yours in unworthy payment..” he painfully looked down at his hands covered in his wifes blood as his voice trailed off “..for my broken heart” Ven looked up and fixed his gaze once again on the Draskan army “Let this to be where your lines end." 


Ven's eyes glared with hatred and heartbroken pain. "Your souls are mine" he reached out his hand and made a grasping motion. The flesh of the Draskan army fell like drops of rain with only an ethereal spirit of the men who once stood in its place now were. 

"I bind you to this land, never to return home, never to know honor, glory, or love. I take from you whatever afterlife you had been promised. I take from you the light of day, and the glow of the moon. Trapped herein for all time. Forever and always. Even longer than that. No man, woman, child, or god will ever bless you, save you, nor reverse what has been done to you here this day. Your voices lost among the screaming of the forest! Your spirits are the fog which arise from the ground." A tear ran down his face as the ground and air grew thick with mist, as the spirits of the fallen army collapsed into plumes of smoke. Ven walked to his wife and his daughter. His heart hurt. And the tears came now like rain. Beautiful Purple flowers grew all around Lynns body where her blood flowed. The creatures both great and small laid at Nasea's small body. Her hair stained with her blood. Ven dropped to his knees. In anguish he stuttered out "Not my loves. Please, not this! Oh death, could you not make an exception? Could a deal not be made? Oh spirits please, hear me in my time of need." He sat there on his knees weeping, holding them both. A hand gently fell on his shoulder and squeezed him. It was Lynn's spirit. "My love. My husband. You who have foresight of spirits. I will never leave your side" She said with a smile. "Me too papa, me too" Nasea's little voice sang. A fawn stood up from Nasea's side and walked over to Ven and nudged his hand. He gently caressed the velvety soft fawn. The other animals began to depart, and their spirits faded. 


Ven went back to his humble little cottage that used to be filled with love, and laughter, and shut the door. Spent, and tired from the pain in his soul. He fell into a deep sleep. So deep in fact that the vines and grasses grew over him, and entombed him. His body, soul, and magic fused into one being. In nature he could be with his girls again. His life wasn't forfeited however, just able to live on for all time through nature itself. Its conscious and heart. Its connection to the world of man. And the warning of the forest, and the screams therein. To any who should trespass there. Or to make war in peaceful lands. And that is the story of the Screaming Forest.


Monday, October 25, 2021

The Voice - Short Story

 The Voice by Michael Peterson 


A man tired from his day, wary of spirit and needing solace embarked into the wilderness. There he sat himself next to a creek. Around him the voice of the forest spoke. The chattering of chipmunks, the song of the birds. The ebb and flow of the wind rustling in the trees as the earth breathed. He sat for along while in silence and in awe. It was a place he had come to in the past. A sanctuary of primal energy, a wisdom beyond the ego of man. Each tiny thing therein a living universe. All interdependent of the next, a symphony of symbiosis. Here he felt connection. Here he felt understanding. Here he knew peace.


"Ah little forest, you have heard my confessions many times. Yet I wonder how many you've heard before me, and still yet how many you will hear after me? "

He closed his eyes. Fighting back his own little rivers. His thoughts turned to the natural order of things. Of the fish that swam in the waters next to him. Did they fight so hard to return to their spawning grounds because it was habit? Or did they do so in hopes of reclaiming something from their past? Or was it that primal wisdom that drove them? That in their hearts they divined some greater knowing and understanding? That their journey wasn't about them, but about those along the way. Those who would feed upon them. That their spirit passed into another. And that their life wasn't a sacrifice, but a service. That their purpose was to bring others what they needed?

"Or maybe they're just fish" he said outloud giggling to himself. A bird began chirping and it sounded like laughing as if nature was answering him. The sun began to shine through the treetops. He closed his eyes and drew it all in. Then a voice spoke to him in his thoughts, "the age of man is coming to an end. A new dawn comes." It trailed off. Visions of the forest growing thicker, and the animals becoming more populated. Of the little creek digging away at the bank, becoming deeper and further down in elevation. Of it becoming a river. The trees growing and dying, and regrowing. The sounds of the world changing from a modern roar to a harmonic song. Of names that had been given. Being forgotten. And new names bestowed. Of quadruped becoming bipedal. But this was not new knowledge. This was shared, yet forgotten knowledge. This was memory, and discovery. Past, present, future. A connection found in disconnection. An awakening or a momentary ah ha. The voice once again returned "a part of, not apart from. Though one age ends, another begins. Your form may not remain, but your spirit will."
He opened his eyes again. "Who are you voice, to proclaim such knowledge?" He demanded. A frog croaked. A bird sang. A squirrel chattered. A deer came out into a clearing. The wind gusted. Then all fell silent.  "Mother!"

Thursday, October 21, 2021

The player - shot story

The Player by Michael Peterson 10/21/21


A vagabond stood on the corner, dirty and unkempt. All his worldly possessions in an old rucksack next to his old faithful black dog. Not rich by societal standards, but rich in heart and soul. 

From an old battered and beaten case, his calloused hands withdrew an old violin. As he tuned the strings and rosin the bow. His dog laid down, and looked upward toward his master. He drew the bow sharply and quickly against the strings. A loud screech sounded out, grabbing the attention of the people who were walking by. 


Suddenly he began whipping the bow back and  forth. The instrument screamed as in pain. Horrid undefined melodies furiously flew from it. People covered their ears and turned up their lips, booing him and making snide remarks. His eyes clenched shut, as he moved with the shins that came from it. Then he slowed his pace. The sounds of a master boomed where the howling had just been. The before incomprehensible wailing had been. Then feverishly he began ripping at the cords with the bow again. Blunt, uncaring, unrefined movements, screamed from the instrument. High pitched squalling, rampant succession of the scales. A sharp,  D minor, G major,  B flat, the sounds of a child playing with a musical instrument. Then within the tempest of assaulting sounds an undercurrent of his mastery began to eek out. 


As I sat there, listening to him, I could hear his story loud and clear. His pain, suffering, and heartbreak were all there. These random noises he pulled from the violin weren't random at all. Each of the blunt hard strokes were his racing thoughts. His rise and fall. His loss. His journey from everything to nothing. His fall from grace. Not a fall from divinity mind you, as you could hear his unspoken song to the heavens of you truly listened, but the fall from social grace. The loss of his place within the world. His place within the orchestra's line up. The los of his wife, the home they built, the life they had, the lamenting that still lived in his heart. 


His eyes still wielded shut, allowed thin rivers of tears the streak down his unwashed face. His dog looking up at his whole world, sat there poised and captivated with love and admiration for her master. Tail softly wagging as if keeping tempo with him. 

People still listened unaware of what was actually transpiring at that moment. Unwilling to listen to what emotions flowed from the crass abrasive song that was coming from his playing. 


His whole story sang to me. I understood this violence, and heard the beauty therein. I watched all of this unfold as he played. Then he slowed his pace again. The beautiful symphony once again returned, and began to fade as the violin grew quieter and quieter. He was done with his song. The storm inside him quelled. He drew a tag from his pocket, and wiped his eyes. The dog stood up and wagged her tail faster and with excitement. 

He placed the violin into its case, as she snuck in a few quick licks. "Yes baby I love you too. Ok Gracie girl, let's get going." She jumped around excitedly and let it a few quick yip's. And they began walking toward my direction. 


I stopped him and said "sir, i'm sorry for your pain. Your playing really moved me." Shocked he said "you heard that?" Puzzled I nodded. "Most only hear noise, and they have nothing kind to say" he trailed off. "I could hear it and feel it, and noticed your tears" I shared. His dog nuzzled my hand for pets. "And who is this" I said happily. "This is Gracie. My only friend in the world. Named after my beloved wife who passed some time ago. We always wanted a dog but never had the time. She and I both worked. But she got sick and left me on a Tuesday. So when I got her, the name fit. She's always loved my playing, just like she did. So now all we have is each other, and my violin" he said with a humble smile and went to continue by. I reached into my pocket and pulled what money I had and handed it to him. "Thank you for your music" I said and walked to my car. Later that evening in my way home from work i spotted him again. This time with a single rose in his Hand washing into a cemetery. I pulled too the side and watched as he walked six rows in and five plots over. He laid the rose down. Drew out his violin and began playing. A soft beautiful melody. Gently he pulled the bow back and forth. Each string vibrated and sang like a choir of angels. 

When he was done, he kissed his index and middle finger and touched the tomb stone. Collected his items, and disappeared into the trees behind the cemetery.

Monday, October 18, 2021

When a parent is homeless...

 

When you see a homeless person, typically your first instinct is to turn up your lip, or look at them in disgust. Sometimes, you have a nagging compulsion to help them. But more often than not, you just walk on by. If they ask you for money, most times people respond with discouraging words, or make up tiny white lies, and very few actually part with their money.

Homelessness is becoming more and more rampant as the years march on. Be it due to increasing rents, loss of jobs, mental health, or just a series of unfortunate events that have lead these men and women to become street dependent. Sometimes it is a choice that they walk out of their homes and on to the streets. Sometimes its forced upon them. We so often look at street dependent people and say things like "get a job" or "I would/wouldn't do (insert "wisdom")" But we each are closer to being homeless than being the next Kardashian, or becoming Insta-famous. 
We dont realize that we are just one missed payment, one lost job, one missed connection from being in that situation ourselves. I myself have experienced homelessness, through no fault of my own. My sister and I lost our house in the 2003 wild fires that went through San Bernardino California. In a blazing instance all of our prized possessions were gone. Decades of memories. Irreplaceable pictures. Treasured family heirlooms. Pets, clothing, furniture, everything that we had worked so hard to build, gone in an instance.


Remembering the last moments before we lost it all. The panic, the terror, the slightest tinge of hope that somehow a 4 alarm fire could be extinguished by a garden hose. The walking outside to see a hell scape where you beautiful neighborhood once stood. The sheer arrogance of people who didn't even belong in the area, driving up and down the streets watching people try to evacuate, and blocking the street so that the fire crew were not even able to make it. Piling everything that you could carry into the back of one of the 3 cars you had, and driving away from a burning inferno, hoping and praying you would have something to come home to, but knowing that you aren't. Thinking of the pets who you couldn't save because their fight or flight instinct kicked in. Hoping that the dog somehow got out of the garage, and knowing she didn't. Having to wander the streets of a city you've lived in for years, like nomads, because you have no place to go. 

You seek out what little comforts you can. You call on friends and family not really effected by the wildfires. They graciously offer you shelter for a night or two. But come the fifth day, patients and welcomes wear out.  The same outfit you had on since you ran out of your burning house, crusted with sweat and tears, and in desperate need of being laundered, but it some how feels like a security blanket, covered in the ashes of what once was. 

Your daily struggle takes on a whole new life. Now you must graciously walk away from your friends house where they have let you stay for a few nights, even though they politely tell you that you can stay, even though they in their hearts want to go back to how their lives were before you and your family showed up on their door step. You now have to find food, shelter, a place to leave your car while you return to work, and school. Trying to be upbeat and positive, even though you have told your story 1900 times before. Each time a new piece opens up that you had forgotten. You have to relive that nightmare over and over. The pity and socially expected "oh my god, I am so sorry to hear that, is there anything that you need? What can I do to help?" Knowing that there isn't anything that they can or would actually do for you even if you handed them a list of things that you truly needed at that moment in your life. To call upon those "offered" favors with any type of expectation, would only place a wedge between you and that person. So even though you quite literally need everything and anything, you say "no but thank you, just let us know if you happen to see a place for rent."

The true scope of humanity comes when you find yourself looking for a home, after a natural disaster happens. Places that were once within your price range, and for years had never rented for more than $600 a month are now $1200 because its a golden opportunity for the greed to seep in because you know the whole cornerstone of capitalisms "supply and demand".  Three long winter months. Your family separated when you are at your most vulnerable. One part stays with co-workers, but they have no place for you, so you have to find some place to go. There's family 70 miles away, that you go and stay with, and do, just so you dont have to sleep in your cold car again.

You begin fighting with them because they don't understand what you have gone through, and want you to get up, brush it off like it was just a small thing, and return to your daily life, when your daily life is now just trying to find a place to live, a way to eat, shower. Oh god what it was to be able to take a shower during the first few weeks of this new life. And to do something as simple as sleep without having waking nightmares, thinking you smell smoke. The "what if's" they keep you awake. Running down every impossible scenario like it was some how an option. Questioning every choice that you made leading up to the day the fire happened. Living with these open internal scars that are still raw and bleeding, and just needing time to process things. And every discouraging word rips open the fragile scab you have over them. People expect you to heal and move on in a timeline that they set upon you, not one that you can not even begin to have for yourself as your lungs still hurt from the amount of toxic smoke you inhaled trying to rush back and forth to save your home and life. 

Seventeen years later, it haunts you like a ghost, making you remember every moment of it. You heart beats fast, your eyes dilate, and the memories come flooding back, when you have to remember any portion of it. It hurts less now. You can talk about it without much pain. You can recant the feeling of going to sleep in your car, in a Walmart parking lot, and hearing people talk, and the security guards drive by speaking into their radios, giving the store management updates on your car, and how "it appears someone is sleeping in there." Because you know, a thin blanket rolled up in the windows to give you some sense of privacy, and provide just a small layer of warmth in the dead of winter, would suggest anything but?

And now you have a 70 year old parent who is homeless, and scared. You understand their situation, but can not have them stay with you or even close to where you live because of their toxic behaviors. You see, my sister and I tried to help her a number of times over the years. And her lack of basic respect and decency, along with her substance abuse, and possible underlaying mental health issues make it a horrid situation to even try and help. She labors under the delusion that things are still how they were prior to the 1990's. That she knows best, and that certain rules do not apply to her. Like smoking indoors. She has basically smoked since the day she was born. At times as many as two packs a day. 
My sister nor I smoke. We asked her the last time she lived with us, not to smoke in the house. She would light her cigarette in the kitchen, and then walk all the way through the house to the front door, so that she could smoke on the front porch instead of the 3 feet it was to the back door. We would come home and she would be sitting in her bedroom smoking with the window open, like that was somehow not smoking in the house, because the window was open.

When she came to stay with us that last time, we told her in advance that we were going to be moving out of state, and that she could only stay with us for a short period of time, basically up until the time we packed up and locked the door for the last time. She went around to all of our neighbors, people we had only a communal association with, as we lived in a trailer park and my niece played with their children, and would tell them all types of things about us. Her favorite 'tweaker' saying at the time was "i dont know what the fuck they are doing, they treat me like a mushroom, kept in the dark and fed shit". Because we didnt have a solid plan when we moved out of state.
It was originally supposed to just be me, so I had a plan and things situated for myself, but adding on another two people was difficult enough, but to add her to the mix would have made the whole thing impossible and would have burned all the bridges we could have had before they were even built.

At the time of writing this, I have to my left, a clipboard of information, housing agencies, federal and state programs, phone numbers, addresses, quickly jotted notes, and the like with ink freshly drying. Trying in vane to help someone who isnt even trying to help themselves. Every phone call I make, brings me that much more closer to getting a place established for her, only to receive a phone call from her and listening to her tell me how she doesn't "want to move into a studio apartment, it "HAS" to be a one bedroom, because a studio is to small" and this coming from the homeless woman living in a four person tent. The countless listings I've scrolled past because the simplistic rules established in the advertisement would be to much for her to begin to follow. The housing codes, and rental laws, I've taken the time to lean and to educate myself on, in hopes to help. The delicate integral dancing and word play, I have done speaking to these agencies and people to get to the point where a studio may even be an option, is like that of a Prima Ballerina Asaluta. Carefully choregraphed, carefully worded, key phrases mentioned, insiders jargon, brown nosing customer service, pampering, ego stroking, and professionally educated vocabulary spoken, to those who with a stroke of a pen could open the doors to a shelter for her to live in. Only to have her smack it away because it doesn't fit her bougie idea of living, yet being a street dependent tent dweller is some how the better option?

What does one do for a person like this? How can you begin to mask the drama that she brings with her. How do you window dress a situation in such a way that people do not see the tape holding back the deluge of negativity that embodies her. There comes a point and a time when you just sit back and wonder "why am I doing this? She is just going to mess it up again. She's not going to follow the rules. All of your hard work is going to be for nothing. Yeah she may get into a place and squeak out another five years or so, only for her to then be homeless at what 75 maybe 80. At which point  you will then have to try to figure this all out again? At that point her health may be even worse, and nursing homes are expensive and even if that was her only choice, she would some how figure out how to make them kick her out." 

The mental, emotional, spiritual, physical stress and exhaustion you feel, letting this all take up space in your mind, begins to effect your own mental well being. Your peaceful nights rest is taken from you, because you think about how cold you are laying in your own bed, safe in your own space, only to  remember the time that you lived in your car, and felt unsafe at 23, let alone in a tent at 70. 

What do you do? What can you do? You speak your heavy words in prayer, hoping that if there is some higher power, some universe creating being, that some how, some way, it would hear your voice, your humble prayers, above all else going on through the expansive universe. The shear hubris of even begining to believe that your voice, let alone your issues, would make the smallest difference to a cosmic being such as a god or goddess, or even register to them is laughable. But isnt that what we are taught from a young age? Let go and let god (whatever that looks like to you). 


Thursday, July 29, 2021

I started writing a book

 So I have always wanted to write a book. I have started many times in my life, and gotten tons of writing done, only to have a computer crash, or a online service go out of business and lose all of my progress. I have the starts of 3 books so far. One on spirituality and my spin on it, one that is short stories, and the latest one, a daily motivation book. 

In the past I've written poetry, and fantasy novels, but never really been able to make them pan out. I dont have any high hopes this time around either. But its something that I have begun and thought "hell why not?"
Daily when I wake up, I make a good morning post that is usually positive in nature. So I thought, why not copy all of them down, put them in a Word doc and then after a year, compile it into a book. So that is what im doing. I dont know if I will self publish, or approach a publishing company. If you've followed me for any length of time on any of my social media, then you will know that I operate my whole life on a "shoestring budget". So if there is any upfront publishing costs that will probably kill any hopes of it going from my desktop to the readers hands.
I know that they say "in order to make money you've got to spend money" but when you have no money to spend money then you do what you can with what you have afforded to you at the time.

There are many times that I have thought about publishing this blog into a book. But then again that is probably just my hubris thinking that anyone actually reads this.
I've talked a little about this on my YouTube channel and in some of my TikTok's but for right now it is just a pipe dream. Just something to pass the time. After all if you are doing something creative, then are you really wasting your time?

Monday, June 14, 2021

Trying to be positive is tiring

 


Trying to be positive and keep good vibes is tiring. You try day in and day out to be the type of person you want to see in the world, and time after time you have to resort back to being a jerk.

I know I have a temper, and that it gets the better of me at times. But I honestly do try to be a good person, and help others when I can. But there are just some days where its like, you know what "fuck you, fuck your family tree, I hope it dies at the roots."

The only thing I can do is my best. And I try to check myself and find myself grounding and centering more and more now days. Where I just have to take deep breaths and just laugh it off. But being bipolar having that clarity isnt always something that I have access to. But my reason for this post is just to remind everyone that we can not change the way others do things, but we can strive to be better and not add to the problem. Sometimes its easy, sometimes its hard. But just do the best you can.

Monday, May 3, 2021

One week and Counting

 

Well its only a week until I begin my state testing. I have butterflies the size of Mothra flying around in my stomach thinking about it.
My biggest anxiety is just completing the test and doing well on it. The other aspect is the "what if" side of it. What is going to happen after I pass the test? Am I going to try to start working as a Peer Counselor? What if I fail the test? Am I going to try and retake it.

There is so much going on in my mind right now I honestly dont know where to start, what to focus on, and what to do with the rest of it.

I have a camping trip coming up this weekend where I am supposed to go out with some friends and embark on their "Mothers Day Girls Only Trip" which should be fun and interesting as I am not a mother nor a girl. But I was invited so at the very least it should be entertaining if I can force myself to get out there and actually just do it. Last time I was invited to go to a camp out I had everything packed and ready to go and just couldnt bring myself to actually go. I also dont know if I want to go for a weekend trip when monday morning my testing starts. It seems like I should spend the weekend just relaxing and prepping myself. 

The rational sane side of my brain is telling me that I am being stupid and that I am making mountains out of mole hills. And I know that im way over thinking things. Im not really "vested" in this whole thing. I took a bunch of classes to better understand mental health and what have you and had fun getting the certificates and diplomas that I did get. And it is useful knowledge to have, considering that depression and things like that are at an all time high and seem to only be getting worse as time goes on.

I am feeling better just putting these feelings into words right now. I think it is just a form of therapy in itself to just journal these things. I mean after all this is the main principle and foundation of this blog and why I originally started it. 

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Caffeine Vape Stix by Energy Shisha california California Pacific Medical Center call center caloric needs calorie versions cancer candychang.com Cannabidiol cannabis car car loan. car; car loan; payday; payday advance; sponsored blog; guest post; carats cardio cardiovasular disease care cause cctv security dvr cd review Celebration celiac cell phone change cheap eyeglasses cheap glasses check into cash cheif chicago child childhood depression Childhood diabetes childhood obesity children cholesterol christmas chronic inflammatory disease chronic pain cigarette ciglites cigs clinical depression clothing coconut oil coffee coffee prevents diabetes cognitive cold colorectal cancer Comedy Central comfort food community compare computer Computer Services condos connections contour usb meter control cooking corn syrup cosmetics coupons couponten.com crafts creative outlook credit card cupcake cyber bullying daily caloric daily caloric intake dancing dark cloud david pulley Day 3 of taking Lexapro and Victoza day care daycare ddiabetes deals Death debate debit card debt decaffeinated coffee decreased gene activity deep breathing dementia Dental Work and Tooth Pain depressed Depressed Stroke Survivors May Face Triple the Risk of Death depression depression in preschoolers depression isn depression symptoms Despite Free Health Care developing diabetes development diabetes Diabetes / Diabetic News Diabetes + Depression = Increased Risk of Death diabetes exist diabetes foundation diabetes less diabetes management diabetes medication Diabetes Trials Worldwide Are Not Addressing Key Issues In Affected Populations diabetic diabetic alert dog diabetic cook book diabetic cure diabetic education videos diabetic epipen diabetic food log diabetic healing diabetic insulin diabetic logbook diabetic medical review diabetic research Diabetic Retinopathy diabetic shock diabetic software diabetic supplies diabetic. ebook diamonds diet digital camera digital logbook direct Direct Association Between Type 2 Diabetes And Obesity Found direct tv directionless dirve disability disabled disease disorders Disrupting Our Internal Clocks May Lead To A Complete Absence Of 24-Hour Bodily Rhythms And An Immediate Gain In Body Weight Ditto divorce lawyer diy mouse trap dlucose doctors donation Doughnuts down range Drexel University drinking drive drop out drug drug abuse drugs dry skin DSHS dvd e-cig e-cigarettes e-juice e-reader e-zines eastern medicine eating disorders ecigarettes Economics education Edward Norton effective treatments egg whites egg yolks electri vehicle electrical stimulation Electronic emergency emergency kit Emma Stone emotional employment empty nest EMR endocrine engraved medical id ereader ev everyone else eviction excess weight exercise exercise regularly exercise routines exterminators eye eye care eye disease eye glasses EyeBuyDirect eyebuydirect.com facebook fad diet fad diets family focused therapy Family Time fashion fatty acids favorite foods FDA feel fuller fire fish oil fitness Fitness Professionals Appreciate Online Continuing Education Options Fitness; Obesity; Diabetes; Molecular Biology; Mice; Biology flights florida Florida health kids program flu food Food and Dining food diary food network foods contain forgetfulness four more years free free android apps free diabetic wristband Free Stuff french fries fresh flowers fresh fruit Fresh Vending Machines fructose fructose corn syrup fruit full moon funeral Gadgets gangnam style Gastroesophageal gastroparesis GE X500 Power Series genes genes linked to bipolar GERD gestational diabetes Gestational Diabetes Patients Will Develop Type 2 Diabetes Give Aways giving glasses glooko glucagon Gluco(M) Glucofact glucose glucose levels glucose log glucose management glucose meter gluten free glycemic control glycemic foods glycemic index glycemic indexes godaddy google gout grain foods green tea group guest blog guest post hair loss happy Happy Birthday Hello Cupcake It's Me happy birthday to me :) happy holidays Harvey Birdman hba1c health health benefits health care healthier fast food healthy healthy foods healthy lifestyle healthy snack hearing loss heart heart attack heart broken Heart Disease; Cholesterol; Stroke Prevention; Diseases and Conditions; Chronic Illness; Heart Disease; Cholesterol; Stroke Prevention; Diseases and Conditions; Chronic Illness; diabetes Heart Disease; Cholesterol; Stroke Prevention; Diseases and Conditions; Chronic Illness; stroke Heart Disease; Cholesterol; Stroke Prevention; Diseases and Conditions; Chronic Illness; Vioxx heart monitor heart on my sleeve heart problems heart rate heath and beauty hello hellocupcakeitsme.com help hemoglobin Her high blood sugar high school High-Fat Foods May Be A Factor In Glucose Control hiv hiv1 hiv2 hobbytron.com holiday holiday's home security alarms home testing Homeless Homeless Shelter Homer Simpson honda hospitalization Household Income Affects Chronic Disease Control In Kids Humalog Human IPSC Humor Humulin R U-500 hunger hungry hurt on the job hyperglycima hyperglycimic hypertension hypoglycemia hypoglycemic hypoglycemic episode iBGStar Blood Glucose Monitoring System Ice Cream Image improvement including mufa foods infection infested infographic information injury inspriation insulated bag Insulin insulin injections insulin patch insulin pump insulin shot record insurance claims internal medicine Interspecies Transplant investments ios ios 5 iphone iphone 4 its iTunes Iwerkz Foldable Bluetooth Keyboard Review Jenna Mables jewelry joann joann fabric and craft store joint pain Journal of Alzheimer's Disease juwait Keek kenguru ketoacidosis occurs kicking the habbit kid kidcare kids Killings kindle kindle fire kitchen counter kombucha Labor and Industry Lamp;I lantus Late-Life Depression lawyer learning issues legal help Lexapro LG Rumor libido life lifestyle changes light box lincoln Link Between Creativity and Mental Illness Confirmed in Large-Scale Swedish Study Lipohypertrophy living loan Lone Star College Shooting loneliness lose weight losing weight loss plan lost low blood sugar low glucose levels Low income cell phone low income glasses low t low testosterone lower glucose lowering lowering glucose levels Luminaze lung health lyrics lyrics of depression Mainframe Support makeup managing diabetes Manic marijuana market mary lambert Master Card maya angelou Maya Angelou dead at 86 me meal plan meal prepping meals require medflash media / television medicaid Medical medical condition medical help Medical Review Medical Studies medical studies. medicare medicare part d medication medicines meditation melody road memory loss men's health Mental Health mental health issues Menu menu options merry christmas metabolic syndrome metabolism metabolites metersync blue miami Michael Keaton microstimulator military minimum purchases mission d.a.d mission dad Mixed Results On Computer-based Support For Diabetes mobility money money saving moods motivation mourning movie review Movie Reviews music music thearpy musings/thoughts/ideas must have MV-1 n-3 Fatty Acids Nanoparticle Suspension and Ultrasound Deliver Insulin Without Regular Injections natural home remdies natural suppliments need needing help needles needy negative thoughts neil diamond Network/Community networking new app new baby New Jersey's Universtiy of Medicine and Dentistry new medication New smart contact lens could monitor glucose for diabetics Nick Jonas night lights nissan no insulin Nook Tablet BNTV400 Review north aferica nova nordisk Now that the holidays are over obama obama phone obama wins 2012 obese Obesity obituries OCD ODD Oil Pulling Olycap omega-3 onetouch online magazines online medical records optical zoom optical123.com Optimus ERM optogenetics oral health oral hiv test oral swab oraquick overcome depression Oxygen paid marketing pancreas parental depression parkinsons passing Paula Deen pay attention payday payday advance paying kids to attend school pedometer personal food chart Personal Post pest pests photography pills ping plam beach county Plays poet port townsend positive thoughts Postpartum Depression pot prayer pre-owned pre-school pregnancies pregnancy prepper prepping preschool prescription president prevent complications prices processed foods product Product Review products Progress Project 1811 project rudolph proline promo codes promotional Promotions psoriasis Psy public health publich education purchas questioning quit smoking raisins reaching out real butter real-estate really scare rearrange recipes Record red meat red wine reefer reflux regenerate regular exercise rehab remodel research resistance resource resources retail therapy retinopathy revamp review Reviewing the Vapourlites Blueberry/Strawberry E Juice revitalift rich foods risk roller coaster russia rx s.a.d sadness safe sex safelink Safelink wireless sale salt Sandy Hooks Elementary School Schooting saving money savings scar school School Shooting schooling seasonal affective disorder Seattle self diagnosis self help self love self medicating senior resources seo sesame seed oil sex Shindigz Coupon Code Shootings shopping Short story shot record sick side-effects simple tips SIN TAX Site Review skin care skin tags skip meals skipping meals sleep sleep apnea smaller meals smart car smart cars smart phone smoker smokes smoking social media social security sodium software sore throat sores south beach south beach diet spiral notebook sponsored sponsored review sponsored; lawyer; family; legal; issues; sponsored/guest post spot removal. ssi Statin Labels stem cell stomach pain stoner stop smoking store stress stretch marks study submit submitted substitutions successfully lose weight sugar free sugar levels sugary foods suicidal thoughts suicide Supplementation Of Alternative Fuels Could Protect The Brain During Hypoglycemia support surgery systemic inflammation taboo tai chi take out tax tea tech teen teen mental health teens television temporary mood test animals test strips testicle testicular cancer testing testing supplies testosterone thanksgiving the learning company the lines project. #thelinesproject thearpy therapy thought Three Devastating Statistics of Diabetes Medical Malpractice title to write love on her arm tone Tosh.O toxins Tracfone trained professional transaction travel treatment trend diets tribute to my father triglycerides tsa tweets twitter twloha type 3 diabetes type-1 type-2 type-2 diabetes U.S. Medicare Part D Can't Explain North-South Disparities UK News ultra long acting UMDNJ underlying reasons Undiagnosed Pre-Diabetes Highly Prevalent in Early Alzheimer's Disease Study unhealthy unhealthy foods up and coming artist up and down upcoming holidays update uric acid usb value of a dollar vape vapor vapourlites vendor Veterans Day Video violation violence Visa Visiting Your Doctor Following ER Care For Chest Pain Reduces Risk Of Heart Attack vitamin d vitamin deficiency walking walking chart walnuts contain washington water waterski weed week in review Week of learning weigh yourself weighing yourself weight weight loss weight loss chart weight loss goals weight loss plan weight loss program weight loss success weight loss tips weight slowly what is it What Your Skin Says About Your Health wheel chair wheelchair whipped butter winter blues womens health Work Out workman's compensation workout X-Men x500 xanax Xenotransplantation Young people with diabetes dying due to lack of adequate healthcare Yourtel youtube YouTube Internet Sensations Then and Now

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'Protecting' Psychiatric Medical Records Puts Patients At Risk Of Hospitalization 'Switch' Critical to Wound Healing Identified 1811 2013 4 Ways to Beat Back Pain 5 hour energy 500 calories A simple soliloquy a1c AA aarp ablum accessible wheelchair car acne acne light treatment acting insulin acu acupressure ADD addiction ADHD adolescent victims adults Adults With Diabetes And Limited Health Literacy Less Likely To Adhere To Prescribed Antidepressants advance advise advising afghanistan Aflac Age Matters in Weight Gain: aids airsoft album review Alcoholic Alcoholics Anonymous All IT Supported alltel alzheimers AM General American College of Gastroneterology American Diabetes Association American Express ami clubwear amiclubwear.com amputation android anger animis anniversary anti radiation cell phone technology antibody antidepressants not working anxiety app application apps arginine arthritis artificial artistic aspirin Assurance Wireless asteroid atherosclerotic lesions Atlanta Drug Rehab Center attack Avengers back on track back to school backup bad habbits baking banana george Banana Power bariatric surgery Barrett's Esophagus Baton Rouge battle depression bayer bayer breeze2 Bayer Contour USB bb gun BBB BE beating depression beauty become motivated before i die behealthy24.com Being sick totally sucks beta cells big blue test big foot Biomedtrics biosensor bipolar Bipolar bipolar disorder Birdman Birdman or The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance birth birth defects birthday bladder cancer blog blogging blood glucose blood glucose levels blood pressure blood sample blood sugar blood sugar level blood sugar levels blood sugar monitor blood sugars blue shield Bluetooth bmi Body By Vi 90 Day Challenge body mass index bogo bogo. buy one get one free books bottom belly bracelet Brain Discovery Could Help Schizophrenics Breaking News breast breast feed breast feeding breastfeed breastfeeding brew Broadway budget bug out bugs bullied bullying Bums burn calories buy Caffeine Vape Stix by Energy Shisha california California Pacific Medical Center call center caloric needs calorie versions cancer candychang.com Cannabidiol cannabis car car loan. car; car loan; payday; payday advance; sponsored blog; guest post; carats cardio cardiovasular disease care cause cctv security dvr cd review Celebration celiac cell phone change cheap eyeglasses cheap glasses check into cash cheif chicago child childhood depression Childhood diabetes childhood obesity children cholesterol christmas chronic inflammatory disease chronic pain cigarette ciglites cigs clinical depression clothing coconut oil coffee coffee prevents diabetes cognitive cold colorectal cancer Comedy Central comfort food community compare computer Computer Services condos connections contour usb meter control cooking corn syrup cosmetics coupons couponten.com crafts creative outlook credit card cupcake cyber bullying daily caloric daily caloric intake dancing dark cloud david pulley Day 3 of taking Lexapro and Victoza day care daycare ddiabetes deals Death debate debit card debt decaffeinated coffee decreased gene activity deep breathing dementia Dental Work and Tooth Pain depressed Depressed Stroke Survivors May Face Triple the Risk of Death depression depression in preschoolers depression isn depression symptoms Despite Free Health Care developing diabetes development diabetes Diabetes / Diabetic News Diabetes + Depression = Increased Risk of Death diabetes exist diabetes foundation diabetes less diabetes management diabetes medication Diabetes Trials Worldwide Are Not Addressing Key Issues In Affected Populations diabetic diabetic alert dog diabetic cook book diabetic cure diabetic education videos diabetic epipen diabetic food log diabetic healing diabetic insulin diabetic logbook diabetic medical review diabetic research Diabetic Retinopathy diabetic shock diabetic software diabetic supplies diabetic. ebook diamonds diet digital camera digital logbook direct Direct Association Between Type 2 Diabetes And Obesity Found direct tv directionless dirve disability disabled disease disorders Disrupting Our Internal Clocks May Lead To A Complete Absence Of 24-Hour Bodily Rhythms And An Immediate Gain In Body Weight Ditto divorce lawyer diy mouse trap dlucose doctors donation Doughnuts down range Drexel University drinking drive drop out drug drug abuse drugs dry skin DSHS dvd e-cig e-cigarettes e-juice e-reader e-zines eastern medicine eating disorders ecigarettes Economics education Edward Norton effective treatments egg whites egg yolks electri vehicle electrical stimulation Electronic emergency emergency kit Emma Stone emotional employment empty nest EMR endocrine engraved medical id ereader ev everyone else eviction excess weight exercise exercise regularly exercise routines exterminators eye eye care eye disease eye glasses EyeBuyDirect eyebuydirect.com facebook fad diet fad diets family focused therapy Family Time fashion fatty acids favorite foods FDA feel fuller fire fish oil fitness Fitness Professionals Appreciate Online Continuing Education Options Fitness; Obesity; Diabetes; Molecular Biology; Mice; Biology flights florida Florida health kids program flu food Food and Dining food diary food network foods contain forgetfulness four more years free free android apps free diabetic wristband Free Stuff french fries fresh flowers fresh fruit Fresh Vending Machines fructose fructose corn syrup fruit full moon funeral Gadgets gangnam style Gastroesophageal gastroparesis GE X500 Power Series genes genes linked to bipolar GERD gestational diabetes Gestational Diabetes Patients Will Develop Type 2 Diabetes Give Aways giving glasses glooko glucagon Gluco(M) Glucofact glucose glucose levels glucose log glucose management glucose meter gluten free glycemic control glycemic foods glycemic index glycemic indexes godaddy google gout grain foods green tea group guest blog guest post hair loss happy Happy Birthday Hello Cupcake It's Me happy birthday to me :) happy holidays Harvey Birdman hba1c health health benefits health care healthier fast food healthy healthy foods healthy lifestyle healthy snack hearing loss heart heart attack heart broken Heart Disease; Cholesterol; Stroke Prevention; Diseases and Conditions; Chronic Illness; Heart Disease; Cholesterol; Stroke Prevention; Diseases and Conditions; Chronic Illness; diabetes Heart Disease; Cholesterol; Stroke Prevention; Diseases and Conditions; Chronic Illness; stroke Heart Disease; Cholesterol; Stroke Prevention; Diseases and Conditions; Chronic Illness; Vioxx heart monitor heart on my sleeve heart problems heart rate heath and beauty hello hellocupcakeitsme.com help hemoglobin Her high blood sugar high school High-Fat Foods May Be A Factor In Glucose Control hiv hiv1 hiv2 hobbytron.com holiday holiday's home security alarms home testing Homeless Homeless Shelter Homer Simpson honda hospitalization Household Income Affects Chronic Disease Control In Kids Humalog Human IPSC Humor Humulin R U-500 hunger hungry hurt on the job hyperglycima hyperglycimic hypertension hypoglycemia hypoglycemic hypoglycemic episode iBGStar Blood Glucose Monitoring System Ice Cream Image improvement including mufa foods infection infested infographic information injury inspriation insulated bag Insulin insulin injections insulin patch insulin pump insulin shot record insurance claims internal medicine Interspecies Transplant investments ios ios 5 iphone iphone 4 its iTunes Iwerkz Foldable Bluetooth Keyboard Review Jenna Mables jewelry joann joann fabric and craft store joint pain Journal of Alzheimer's Disease juwait Keek kenguru ketoacidosis occurs kicking the habbit kid kidcare kids Killings kindle kindle fire kitchen counter kombucha Labor and Industry Lamp;I lantus Late-Life Depression lawyer learning issues legal help Lexapro LG Rumor libido life lifestyle changes light box lincoln Link Between Creativity and Mental Illness Confirmed in Large-Scale Swedish Study Lipohypertrophy living loan Lone Star College Shooting loneliness lose weight losing weight loss plan lost low blood sugar low glucose levels Low income cell phone low income glasses low t low testosterone lower glucose lowering lowering glucose levels Luminaze lung health lyrics lyrics of depression Mainframe Support makeup managing diabetes Manic marijuana market mary lambert Master Card maya angelou Maya Angelou dead at 86 me meal plan meal prepping meals require medflash media / television medicaid Medical medical condition medical help Medical Review Medical Studies medical studies. medicare medicare part d medication medicines meditation melody road memory loss men's health Mental Health mental health issues Menu menu options merry christmas metabolic syndrome metabolism metabolites metersync blue miami Michael Keaton microstimulator military minimum purchases mission d.a.d mission dad Mixed Results On Computer-based Support For Diabetes mobility money money saving moods motivation mourning movie review Movie Reviews music music thearpy musings/thoughts/ideas must have MV-1 n-3 Fatty Acids Nanoparticle Suspension and Ultrasound Deliver Insulin Without Regular Injections natural home remdies natural suppliments need needing help needles needy negative thoughts neil diamond Network/Community networking new app new baby New Jersey's Universtiy of Medicine and Dentistry new medication New smart contact lens could monitor glucose for diabetics Nick Jonas night lights nissan no insulin Nook Tablet BNTV400 Review north aferica nova nordisk Now that the holidays are over obama obama phone obama wins 2012 obese Obesity obituries OCD ODD Oil Pulling Olycap omega-3 onetouch online magazines online medical records optical zoom optical123.com Optimus ERM optogenetics oral health oral hiv test oral swab oraquick overcome depression Oxygen paid marketing pancreas parental depression parkinsons passing Paula Deen pay attention payday payday advance paying kids to attend school pedometer personal food chart Personal Post pest pests photography pills ping plam beach county Plays poet port townsend positive thoughts Postpartum Depression pot prayer pre-owned pre-school pregnancies pregnancy prepper prepping preschool prescription president prevent complications prices processed foods product Product Review products Progress Project 1811 project rudolph proline promo codes promotional Promotions psoriasis Psy public health publich education purchas questioning quit smoking raisins reaching out real butter real-estate really scare rearrange recipes Record red meat red wine reefer reflux regenerate regular exercise rehab remodel research resistance resource resources retail therapy retinopathy revamp review Reviewing the Vapourlites Blueberry/Strawberry E Juice revitalift rich foods risk roller coaster russia rx s.a.d sadness safe sex safelink Safelink wireless sale salt Sandy Hooks Elementary School Schooting saving money savings scar school School Shooting schooling seasonal affective disorder Seattle self diagnosis self help self love self medicating senior resources seo sesame seed oil sex Shindigz Coupon Code Shootings shopping Short story shot record sick side-effects simple tips SIN TAX Site Review skin care skin tags skip meals skipping meals sleep sleep apnea smaller meals smart car smart cars smart phone smoker smokes smoking social media social security sodium software sore throat sores south beach south beach diet spiral notebook sponsored sponsored review sponsored; lawyer; family; legal; issues; sponsored/guest post spot removal. ssi Statin Labels stem cell stomach pain stoner stop smoking store stress stretch marks study submit submitted substitutions successfully lose weight sugar free sugar levels sugary foods suicidal thoughts suicide Supplementation Of Alternative Fuels Could Protect The Brain During Hypoglycemia support surgery systemic inflammation taboo tai chi take out tax tea tech teen teen mental health teens television temporary mood test animals test strips testicle testicular cancer testing testing supplies testosterone thanksgiving the learning company the lines project. #thelinesproject thearpy therapy thought Three Devastating Statistics of Diabetes Medical Malpractice title to write love on her arm tone Tosh.O toxins Tracfone trained professional transaction travel treatment trend diets tribute to my father triglycerides tsa tweets twitter twloha type 3 diabetes type-1 type-2 type-2 diabetes U.S. Medicare Part D Can't Explain North-South Disparities UK News ultra long acting UMDNJ underlying reasons Undiagnosed Pre-Diabetes Highly Prevalent in Early Alzheimer's Disease Study unhealthy unhealthy foods up and coming artist up and down upcoming holidays update uric acid usb value of a dollar vape vapor vapourlites vendor Veterans Day Video violation violence Visa Visiting Your Doctor Following ER Care For Chest Pain Reduces Risk Of Heart Attack vitamin d vitamin deficiency walking walking chart walnuts contain washington water waterski weed week in review Week of learning weigh yourself weighing yourself weight weight loss weight loss chart weight loss goals weight loss plan weight loss program weight loss success weight loss tips weight slowly what is it What Your Skin Says About Your Health wheel chair wheelchair whipped butter winter blues womens health Work Out workman's compensation workout X-Men x500 xanax Xenotransplantation Young people with diabetes dying due to lack of adequate healthcare Yourtel youtube YouTube Internet Sensations Then and Now

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