So as of late, since my break up really, things have been pretty good. I have had little bouts of depression here and there but for the most part have been pretty "good". I have made a few new friends. Been more social. Been invited to join in a spiritual outing with like minded folks, my general overall luck feels for the most part to have changed for the better. My humble collection of #FunkoPop has grown to more of an obsession at this point check out my website that I made for it My Funko Pop Life
But there are still some things that havent changed. I still try to help others only to get dumped on. I try to show others that I care about them, only to get dirt kicked in my face. I try to be a "good person" only to basically be made to feel like my efforts are for not. But hey it could be worse right? It seems like no matter what I do I cant ever seem to balance the scales. So at this point I think im going to quit trying. I mean really all it does is cause me to do this vicious dance. I feel like Dewey from Malcolm in the Middle
You know, especially if you follow me on YouTube (which you should click the link so you could) you know that I dont have much, nor do I pretend to, or really want to. So when I get something for someone, especially if it is really cool, or something that they need or want, the only thing I really "expect" is at the very least a "Hey thank you for that" or something small like that. I dont expect a ticker tape parade, or a monument erected to me, etc.
I dont do things for people for over the top praise, or for any recognition outside of a informal "thank you", and I sure as hell dont do it to loom it over their head, or in hopes of getting something in return. I do for others because I can. Because it makes me feel good to help them, or get them something special/nice, when and if I can. I am a giver by nature. I like to give gifts. I like to bring little blessings into peoples lives. It might be something stupid as a heart drawn on a rock, or something grand, but its genuinely done with love in my heart. So when I do something for someone and its basically slapped away, it kinda stings and makes me think "why should I continue to do for this person?" But then there is that BDSM side of me that will come crawling back a few days later like a hungry dog looking for its masters scraps.
So yeah I just needed to bitch and get some of this off my chest. Im not feeling 100% better but meh, it is what it is i guess. As for the title of this post...i couldnt think of anything so I put the Konami Code lol
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