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Typically when im depressed I do this. But that is just it, I dont really "feel" depressed right now. There are a lot of things on my mind. Ive been thinking about things that I need to do and want to do, but I dont believe it is in a depressive manner, but could be?
Ive tried talking to a few people about it and have pretty much been met with a wall. Meaning they dont seem to care or want to talk about it. And to a point I get it. No one wants to really sit down and listen to someone bitch about their seemingly "good" life. Even though I know the people in my life, love me, it still feels like im alone.
I thought maybe when I got a car and was able to go places more often, and wasnt always so reliant on people having to come get me, that I would feel better. Well I dont. I love having a car and being able to come and go when I want to. But it seems like ive somehow isolated myself or have been isolated even more so now. Like I get this look of "why are you here" when people show up at a place and Im there. I know im probably just imagining it, but I hope that its not how they truly feel.
I find that im not doing some of the things that i normally would do to make me feel better either. Like painting. Havent done that in about 4 weeks. Vlogging for the YouTube channel, it took me 3 weeks to post a video I made 2 weeks prior to that 3 week period. I havent been keeping up with this blog. Been doing ok with my other blog that I do product reviews on. And even started up a new blog, but that has died out now too.
I feel like ive got the summer time blues right now. And maybe that is all it is. All that I do know is that I am more than ready for it to be over with. I think I just need to find some water to go float around in and try to connect with nature or something. All that I do know is that im tired of being tired. And of feeling like im a drag on everyone.
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