Contents under pressure

For the last week and a half I have felt like I am under a ton of pressure. Not like stress or work related but emotional pressure. I have just had a ton of things land on me and cause me grief. I have fought with my family, gone to dark places in my mental health and so much more. Being bipolar and suffering from massive manic depression it can be a rollercoaster to say the least.
There are members of my family who don’t understand the mental anguish that they cause and if they do then they just don’t care which I think might even be worse.
But when I say that I am in a dark place it means that thoughts of hurting myself or suicide have come to mind. Thinking that ‘maybe if I just hurt myself, maybe then they’ll notice’ but that is really not good thinking and looking at that statement now that im not manic at the moment, I realize that its like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies. Its just not good for me to be that upset. I know I have blogged about being depressed and stuff like that at times, but its just something that I deal with daily. Yes I do take medication for it, but sometimes the meds lose out to the biologically illogical.

My one wish would be to make everyone understand how bad it can/does get, and that many times im not being a jerk its just that im having emotional overload and cant function correctly. I don’t know how else to put it. But really outside of being depressions bitch, I have been otherwise pretty well. No major health problems, which is always a good thing. I did a more kinda ‘in-depth’ video on YouTube about it. So if you want to see it head over to the channel. Anyways hope all is well with the rest of you :)