Have you ever....

Have you ever just had that feeling that you are drowning and that nothing you do can or will make that feeling go away?
No matter how much you do, no matter how much you say, it just feels like every step forward takes you five steps back. I'm really starting to feel that way right now, and I don't like it.

I try my hardest to be a good person, and I try to do the right thing but, it only seems like it backfires and just blows up in my face. I'm constantly struggling with money issues, and I just don't know when or where there's ever going to be a break.  I just wish I knew what to do to change my situation. And it's not like I ask for much, I just want things to go a little smoother than what they do.

One of the things I really try to do, is just focus on all the positive in my life. And although I really want to do is just be happy, make my jewelry, and hang out with my friends from time to time. But apparently that's way too much to ask of the universe. I have been hanging out with my friends more which is been really good for me, and they've really enjoyed it that I've been around more. But it just feels like such a struggle in my day-to-day life. I don't always want to bombard them with the crap that's going on in my life. But it just feels like there's no one else to talk to you a lot of times. And going to counseling just really doesn't seem to help.  I'm going in and my counselor asks me how I'm doing... but that really doesn't cover the scope of how I actually AM.

I don't know I just need to connect with my higher power apparently, and see what the universe has in store for me and if anything good or new can come of it.